Archive | November, 2009

Oh, What Tangled Interwebs We Weave…

So apparently, there’s some guy in Japan who was so lonely that he married a video game character.

Yes, let that sink in… He married a character from the Nintendo DS game, Love Plus. Like, married in real-life, by a religious official, in front of a crowd of witnesses.

This game is intended to be a dating simulator, and has players developing relationships with one of three different virtual girlfriends. Below is an excerpt from Kotaku, a video game blog, from their coverage of Love Plus:

“Players can set how they want their girlfriend to address them, and over time, she modifies to match the players’ likes and dislikes. The way she speaks will even change slowly over the course of the game.”

Apparently, when they’re not being overrun by giant lizards, the tech-savvy denizens of Japan are busy at work trying to make the WEIRDEST shit ever.

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Seriously, if you could develop relationships in WoW with the NPCs, I know a TON of people that would immediately head to Theramore to court Jaina. I mean, you can’t go wrong with Jaina, perfect matching of brains and beauty, but she’s shown that her “duties” come first, whatever those may be. Plus she is totally seeing Thrall on the side. Once you go green…

But while everyone is porting back to Azeroth to lay at the bottom of Jaina’s tower, crying themselves to sleep at night, I’ll be sneaking into the Argent Tournament Grounds for some one-on-one time with Argent Confessor Paletress:

I mean, come on! She’s not even wearing legitimate pants! This should be a no-brainer, guys.

The Battle

Lately I’ve been leveling a mage, since leveling is something that I can do on my own time and whatnot, and I’ve always wanted to play something that’s almost the exact opposite of a paladin (I’m sure warlocks would make a better antithesis but they always struck me as wanna-be mages anyway).

I use leveling guides to get through old world content because, honestly, it’s so confusing where to go and when. I was on the part of the guide where it told me to go kill some creatures in the southern Badlands, so I jump on my armored elephant (I wish I was exalted with a different city, I hate riding those things) and stroll down to the area. I start decimating all in my path, wave after wave of bad guys falling beneath my tender, cloth-covered feet, and I see it.

Anathemus, a behemoth of stone and what looks like grass, sporting a whopping 8.3k HP, looking down on me as if I were some bug in a dress.

The beast threatened to stomp my face in if not dealt with, so I proposed to the local Council of Magi that he had WMDs on his back and, after some intense discussion over whether to show my helm or not, I was given permission to go in and “take care of business.” Declaring it a suicide mission, the council refused to give me back up. I told them to “talk to the hoof” and teleported away.

I return to the beast, just out of Frostbolt range, and prepare for an epic battle.

Evocation up? Check.

Potions? Check.

Mana Gem conjured? Check.

Cold Snap and Icy Veins off cooldown? Check.

I was ready to rock and roll.

Spells as cold as Northrend itself shot from my hands as quickly as I could summon them. The beast, slowed by the chill of my onslaught, lumbered towards me. I let forth a blast of glacial energy, freezing the beast in his place, then teleported away a safe distance and continued my volley.

Soon, the beast was on the threshold of death, but still on a vengeful march forward. I unleashed a blast of flame with my mind, killing him, bringing his earthen body to the ground with a large crash. Nearly out of mana and out of breath, I stood triumphant over his body and flexed:

After getting a mediocre reward from killing something that had nearly 8 times as much health as I did, I went to Wowhead to check his loot table. That’s when I saw this comment left by Clashen, and my victory seemed for naught:

“Not immune to Frostbolt, Frostnova or Cone of Cold, very easy for a mage to take down.”

Whatever, Clashen, just whatever.

A Mace Named After Me? Eat That, Fordring

So Wow.com had this thing on more community members seeing their names on in-game items and I became instantly jealous/intrigued. They say that they’ve found these items in the patch files, so I downloaded the PTR and did a little digging myself.

This is what I found, and let me tell you… I like it.

Wrath of the Farm King

I have recently fallen into the trap that is FarmVille on Facebook. I mean, come on, you got your own little plot of digital land to plant crops and decorate with buildings and hay bales and animals. Sounds like the American dream, right?

Right.

Then I got a brilliant idea. I mean, more brilliant than Neil deGrasse Tyson, one of the evil bastards proponents behind the demotion of Pluto from planet status.

I mean, come on, now it’s “My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine…?” Certainly isn’t Pizzas. Thanks Neil.

Anyway, I figured that WoW needs to jump on this farming bandwagon before FarmVille dominates the corner of the market, so I came up with a prototype for Blizzard:

Looks like my pumpkins are about done. I don’t know how I’m going to harvest them with a giant mace, but I can sure as hell try.

I Cracked Like That Stupid Egg That Never Gives Me A Proto

Yup, I played. Correction: I am playing. Well, not at this moment. But I think I’m going to play a little here and there. Level an alt, probably. Why? It’s the easiest thing to manage time with. Unfortunately I can’t really return to a full raid schedule, but at least I can still play.

I know what you’re thinking: oh my GOD this guy is ridiculous, he’s leaving, then he’s playing again, then he’s playing a little, then he’s raiding, then he’s leaving again; ok, maybe you’re not thinking that EXACTLY, but I’m sure it’s on the same wavelength. The truth is, I love this game. Just giving it up cold turkey, while not that difficult, definitely took it’s toll on my sanity.

That, and I was getting WAY too good at Halo 3 (Killing Frenzy on Team Snipers? Ridiculous.).